F.

I feel.
I know that I can still... feel.

But what?

What is this odd sensation that I (rarely) have, like If I was still young and had much that haven't been covered up by my mind, body, and soul. Like some moments are up to be real. Ready to be lived.
Why this weird thing keeps on insisting in me?

Some-much-times (and this has been pretty much lately) I just act in a numb and lost way - like I have been (long) gone. Like I am meaningless and helpless. Just like I am being here for a random purpose, without really caring or being around.

This has been necessary. But I can't keep on going like this anymore... I'm tired of being "null"... I could just "do"...

And... I know.
That I feel
That I still can.
( I won't be dead before I am gone)

I strangely feel that I need to live - that I need to share - that I need to care.
Something points out that I don't want to spare this lifespan, with mindless problems and small questions.
With people and situations that I shouldn't take part of.
With things that were not tailored to (be lived by) me...

I am having a few unconscious moments; a bunch of un-present days. All to just try to stay in the path of a much-requested way (of life).

So I know that I still (...can...) feel something - wish(es), need(s), time(s).

That I do need to keep on feeling - I must not deny it, to (try to) feel alive.

This might be the only way out of this self-shell of solitude. Out of this way around panorama of a bland and gray horizon of thoughts and (dim) expectations.

I must feel to find.
I must have passion to stay... in line.
(...with my own true being)